T.G.I.F.: This Guy Is Fantastic

Pete Sheehy has been working hard to raise a mind-boggling $770 for S.A.V.E., so it seems only fair to give him a chance to relax and put his feet up... at the Good Hotel, a super-posh SoMA establishment with beautiful rooms and an amazing policy of donating a portion of their profits to charities. Yeehaw! Huzzah! Hooray! Etc!

You're probably waiting for a joke about extinction. Maybe next Friday. These things take time to evolve.

Thursday's Emerging Artist: Esteban

This week's emerging artist is Esteban (not Estebaz, as advertised). What can we say? Amazing work Esteban.

Can You Spot This Volunteer?

I just wrapped up a field trip as Mr. Blue with a particularly inquisitive and rambunctious group of third graders, so you'll have to excuse me if I seem grumpy or perturbed. It's simply the residual from being Mr. Blue for two hours. It's really not you; it's me.

That being said, I don't harbor even the smallest degree of annoyance or anger towards this week's spotted volunteer, only great admiration! The astonishing Joe Rieke has raised a grand total of $300.00, which amounts to one hundred percent of his stated fundraising goal. Awesome work!

Mr. Rieke can also count as one of his varied accomplishments cranking out this gem of overstatement-understatement on his volunteer profile: "As you may know we are in a never ending spiral of economic doom." I laughed, I cried, and I wasn't sure which reaction was more appropriate. What is certainly in order, barring everything else, is a deafening ovation for the fantastic Joe Rieke!

Have a grumpy-happy day.

Emerging Artist: Emily

Emily, 4th grade

Each Thursday you will be among the privileged few to behold a
portrait of an 826 volunteer as part of our "Emerging Artist" series.
These portraits are drawn by the brilliant artist-students that
regularly visit 826's drop in tutoring program. This week we proudly
present the art of fourth grader Emily. In her spotlighted portrait,
Emily alludes to the volunteer's subconscious—happy and fulfilled—as
well as the world of contemporary art. She draws upon many schools
of thought and influence in her extraordinary work; she touches upon
trends in social and political movements while delicately implying
that the discord between pen and paper never really existed. Thank you
Emily.

Q.A.V.I.A.F: Real Edition

Questions A Volunteer is Asked Frequently
Real Life Kid Questions, No Answers Edition

Q: Can you photocopy this for me?

Q: Can you print this for me?

Q: Can you take me into the Pirate Store?

Q: Can you buy me this thing from the Pirate Store?

Q: Can you buy me the Pirate Store?

Q (from Sergio, age 5, referring to a mirror): Why is there another me in there?

Q (from Sergio, age 5, referring to a mirror): Why is he angry?

Q: Do you have a wife?

Q: No? Do you have a girlfriend, then?

Q: No? What are you doing with your life?

Q: What's your name again?

Volunteers! Volunteers! Spotted Volunteers!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! March 17th and I, unbeknownst to the 17th, have a love-hate relationship.

When we were younger, my older sister and I built leprechaun traps out of Lego blocks, the architectural design becoming increasingly elaborate as she and I got older. We always left an brimming cup of Lucky Charms perched inside the trap, inviting the leprechauns to dine. Every year when the morning of the 17th arrived, we made a beeline for the door and giggled in the cold as we observed the havoc "Lucky" had wreaked overnight. He always devoured the Lucky Charms and left a note with handwriting curiously reminiscent of my father's.

It was only later that I discovered that, for the majority of my childhood, my sister had long since discerned the truth of Lucky's origins and had been playing along the whole time! I sank into a violent despair, accompanied by all sorts of histrionic flourishes and embellishments.

None of this is particularly pertinent to the Spotted Volunteer Spotlight - except that from the looks of his profile picture, this week's featured volunteer, Jon Adams, has himself slipped into a violent despair - the violent despair commonly referred to as "death by endocrine system stealing." Mr. Adams also alludes in his profile to a Milton Berle fanclub, of which I would certainly be a member. Now there was a man who knew his flourishes and embellishments. Let's give Jon a rousing round of applause for his work on behalf of 826 - and perhaps let's make it rousing enough to wake him from his unfortunate stupor.

T.G.I.F.: ToGether, inching forward!

It's Friday! We've raised $2,899 so far! Woohoo!

That is all.

S.A.V.E. buttons, get your S.A.V.E. buttons

Would you like to show your support by sporting one of our fancy S.A.V.E buttons? Come on down to the Pirate Store.

It's Spotted Volunteer Time!

Hi All -

It seems the dreary weather has stopped for a spell. And, in tandem with rain clouds fleeing our skies, 826 volunteers have begun to banish our extinction anxieties by raising a whopping $2,084! There is still work to be done to reach our ultimate goal of $30,000, so keep raising funds! You're doing an amazing job!

As to the Spotted Spotlight: this week's feature very nearly went to Kirsten Peterson, who has personally saved me from extinction (i.e. losing my job by proving my ineptitude) many times.

HOWEVER –

Although Kirsten's profile lists silly nicknames for several of our intern cohorts, she neglected to provide one for me. An accident, I'm sure.

Instead, I'm proposing that the super fantastic Kate Bueler and I form a rival intern coalition, because she's a superstar and I am perfectly willing to be support staff.

Among the intriguing facts listed on Kate's profile: "I can talk to about anyone- talking to strangers might be my favorite pastime." Entirely the truth. I first met Kate on Friday, February 20th, when she was primarily an in-schools volunteer, and she proved to be incredibly amiable and immensely helpful as staff and interns alike navigated 826 National 101, a truly amazing (and complex) event.

Kate also has a refreshingly optimistic take on the country's economic situation: "the other side of layoffs is that free time can benefit society." What a truly lovely sentiment. Let's all give Kate a round of applause for her dynamic work in support of 826 Valencia! Keep up the amazing work!

T.G.I.F.: Thanks, guys, it's finally...

... time to award fabulous prizes! (And who doesn't love that?)

We are emfatically thrilled to announce our first round of prize-winners for S.A.V.E. Lucy Kirchner and Maggie Wooll are definitely this week's fiercest, fastest, and fittest volunteers. Lucy has written the most fantastically sweet profile and Maggie has finagled her way to raising the most money. In recognition of their formidable efforts, they are each getting a free room at the Good Hotel.

Jealous? With enough finesse and fortitude, you could win next week's prize!

P.S. You get an A if you noticed almost all the adjectives in this post either start with or prominently feature the letter "f." And if you didn't notice, uh, you get an F? What?

Q.A.V.I.A.F.

Q.A.V.I.A.F.
Questions a Volunteer is Asked Frequently
Volume 1

Q: Can you explain the sensation you feel traveling at the speed of light, in mid-air, like you do?
A: Excuse me?

Q: This invisibility thing must be some sort of moral exercise, huh?
A: Uh…

Q: And you’re able to bend time and space with your mind, correct?
A: I’m not sure, but I feel like you’re confusing me with some sort of weird amalgamation of superheroes and, I don’t know, total nonsense? I was told this would be an interview about volunteering at 826 Valencia.

Q: Go on.
A: Okay? I volunteer at 826 Valencia, I tutor kids in the after-school tutoring program, and I go into the schools, when I get the chance. It’s a very rewarding experience, working with the kids. You get these moments that you don’t get in many other places, these breakthrough sort of moments where you’re able to help a child understand a concept that no one ever really took the time to explain to him before.

Q: I think I heard something about lasers in there. Now, you shoot the lasers out of your retinas? What is a retina, exactly, for anybody out there that might not be in-the-know?
A: ...

Q: In conclusion, in case you didn’t get it, the point I was trying to make with my questions was that the volunteers at 826 Valencia have the most impressive superpower of all; the power to have an impact on the minds of students.
A: Okay. It’s a little bit cheesy, though.

[To submit real questions that you are asked frequently, email save826volunteers@gmail.com]

It's Your Turn in the Spotted Spotlight!

Dearest Friends of 826 Valencia -

No, I can't make the dreary weather stop. But I can nominate one of our tireless volunteers to the aptly-named Spotted Spotlight every Tuesday!

Can you, too, be elevated to this (questionably) prestigious position? Absolutely - just create your personalized donation profile at www.826valencia.org/save and tell us something exciting about yourself. Every Tuesday, one of our volunteers will be featured on this blog. If your profile isn't selected, don't fret. But please do get rid of that unattractive scurvy thing.

This week's featured volunteer is Eamon Doyle, seen above right, because, as his shirt so succinctly relates, he is one highly approachable volunteer! Feel free to bear-hug, thumb-wrestle, say hi, or donate money to him. He will appreciate all of it equally, though he might appreciate the donation even more equally, if you know what we mean. He has a lofty (yet totally and completely meet-able) goal of 2,000 dollars. So far he has raised a grand total of zero dollars, so let's give him a head start!

You may possibly spot him, or other equally approachable volunteers, tomorrow, March 4, at 6:30, here at 826 Valencia. We're having a get-together/S.A.V.E. orientation for all of our wonderful volunteers. Come check it out!

Some Super-Evolved Superstars

These spectacular volunteers are quick on their feet and have already created their profiles. Because they are unbeliever-able, each of them will get a free copy of The Believer, available for pick-up in the pirate store starting Wednesday.

Kelsey Parker

Lucy Im

Susanna Kittredge

Kiersten Stevens
Meg Belichick
Jennifer Wells
Eamon Doyle
Louise Pon-Barry
Ingrid Keir
Jessica Beard
Van Nguyen
Pete Sheehy
Lucy Kirchner
Allie Foley

We have three more Believers to give away, so we urge you to join their ranks, create a profile of your own, and S.A.V.E. yourself!